Plans.....

I've been contemplating this post for a while, now, and wanted to share some things.  Many, who know us personally, know the journey we have been on in the past few months, and know some of this already.  I share this to ask you to pray for us. 

These past few months have been some of the most difficult that we have encountered thus far.  We moved up here to the Pacific Northwest in July, 2008, VERY excited, as we felt led by the Lord to come up here to plant a church here in our town.  We left everything we knew, in Oklahoma, including many dear friends, and a strong network of pastor friends for my husband.  We came here knowing that it would be hard, but determined to follow where He lead us.  Fast forward three very wonderful years to where we are at now.  Our church plant was blessed with so many wonderful families who love the Lord, and loved serving in this community to get something going here.  Unfortunately, we didn't grow to a point where we could be self supporting, and much of our funding was running out.  As we began to see the bigger picture in it all, God brought my husband in contact with another pastor, who was here doing the same thing we were doing.  Through much prayer (and many tears), we came to the conclusion that it was time for us to relinquish OUR plans to the Lord, and we ended up merging with the other church here in town.  It has been wonderful to see the two come together to become a stronger base to start from, but in this process, it left us having to come to terms that our service here in this town that we love was coming to an end.  This is the part that has been so very painful for us.  We want to see this town have a very strong church, and in our selfishness, we really wanted to be able to be a part of that plan. 

The past three years, Brad has been serving part time at a church on Sunday mornings, to help support our family (in this hugely expensive economy!).  This church has been a huge blessing to us and been so supportive, to allow my husband to serve on Sunday mornings, and office there during the week.  Through this time, they have allowed us to stay on, part time, and for that we are so grateful.  We are coming to a time, now, though, where we are desperately seeking where God would have us to serve full time.  We have Brad's resume out to every possible place we hear about.  We have asked the Lord to show us where He wants us, and so far, every door, every possiblity, has been shut.  This process has been very painful as well.  We know that He has a perfect plan for us, and we are trying to remain patient as we wait.  I have to admit that there are times of sheer panic for me.... we have FOUR kids that God has entrusted to us (I know He doesn't need to be reminded of that, it's just an overwhelming thought).  I go to bed at night, and my heart is pounding SO hard, from the stress.  I find myself constantly having to re-lay this at the feet of the ONE who is in control of all things!  Not an easy task for this control freak!

We would ask that you keep us in your prayers.  Please pray that we would be open to where He wants us to go.  Our hearts desire is to stay here, close to family, but we have lived far from family, and we know that He will be with us, if we have to leave them.  Please pray that we would continue to grow and lean not on our own understanding, in all of this.  Also, please pray that the pain of loss would heal.  Relinquishing this church has been one of the hardest things we have ever had to do.  We seriously LOVE these people, and would give anything to be able to pastor them.  They have been so very supportive of our family through this hard transition, and continue to encourage and pray for us.  We love them so MUCH!

Obviously, through this process, God brought the sweetest blessing into our life.... in the form of Ella Grace.  While these months have been, at times, so painful, He has brought us so  much joy through this little girl, and we couldn't be more thankful at the timing of this gift to us.  Getting her home was a huge distraction to us, and I'm so glad we had that to focus on!  I am overwhelmed with gratefulness at the way God is blessing through all of this.  He continues to show our family that He will be our provider, and continues to shower us with His unfailing love.